Revelations Continue

I've said before how I was amazed that not until a year past our exit from crisis did I finally feel like I might begin to understand myself again.

Apparently, the same is true for my masculine half. This couples' holiday was marked with a great breakthrough in his healing process. He's spent this time marching forward, burrying what has happened and what could happen. All this time, even as I've been getting better (thanks to some outside perspective via my glorious brain mechanic) I've felt unnamed disconnect, no matter how well we seemed to function together. And all too often, we would experience moments when we couldn't be effective teammates, for no apparent reason. He finally admitted to himself and to me that he's been pretending, trying to 'fake it til you make it'. I suspect instead of employing the skills of a professional as I resorted to, he'll muddle through and iron this out very effectively on his own. The man is reflective, if he's anything, that's for sure.

Now for some light-hearted pics:

Heaven

There is something so yummy about hugging and snuggling a tiny person of your own self.

The instant joy and soaring heart hit before those tiny hands can even clamp around your neck, their own little version of a vice. It's better than a deep breath after a fresh rain, better than a warm fire on a crisp evening, better than chocolate cake with coconut sprinkles (for those who know me, this is something of a deal).

Sure, hugging loved ones has always been little slices of grounding wholesome goodness, but baby hugs are wholegrain wholesome. They show me the ground my roots were born in and which way they continue to grow. His chubby little arms, happy feet and busy hands... they touch something inside me I had no idea existed.

I've never deluded myself for a second that I would be one of those moms. You know the ones... they recreate motherhood from the womb - out, morphing it into an artform. Picasso Moms delight in bringing everything back from the begining of time and making it new, not to mention showcasing that prowess to the world with great zeal. And all the power to them. How could one not honour a good parent?

I consider motherhood a piece of myself, just as being a business owner is a piece of myself, just as being some kind of a horseback rider is a peice of myself. Kaleb ranks right up there with being as good a partner to the hubby as I can. Horse time rolls in with definite high ranking, if only I had more leisure to invest into it (boo hoo, poor me). I do take pride in muscling out a definitive outline in my entrepreneurial work, but am constantly daydreaming about improving things or even my next/other venture... insatiable career hog, but only if I can work to live. I will never live to work, never again be a slave to any job.

In these times of meagre wallets, we are enjoying a part-time daycare schedule. I'm ecstatic for every day of the week, equally. Jogging right beside my constant concern for meeting financial obligations, is my delight at being so present and involved during these first five years of our son's development. We know how fleeting it is. It's an interesting and stimulating state of emotional conflict. Days of child care afford us the freedom to run the household and days of having him home are full of adventure and manner-moulding.

I'm really enjoying this phase of our lives. I try to absorb everything through every pore. I want to remember it all and learn from it all. I will never be here again.

TROUBLE

Well, that's what we're calling him tonight, anyway.

To give us a clear perspective on tonight's adventures, here is our boy earlier today, modeling a new hat...


And without the hat, just to recall what his hair did look like...


We put him in his room to work out a little tantrum and were vaguely aware and relieved when all quieted down for a while. He'll often play in his room, 'reading' his books and playing with toys, so we thought nothing of it as we kept one ear on the typical quiet playing noises. When we did poke our heads in to make sure all was well, this is what we discovered (!!!):

As a child often afflicted with eczema, a nightly routine of applying a galaxal/vaseline cream to his skin has become essential. To further this, one of his grandmothers recently introduced the idea of cream to his cold-chapped cheeks. He had already taken the initiative once before to apply some cream to his face at grandma's but we caught him before too much damage was done.

This time, he got into a TUB of cream, spread it over all himself including in his hair, ears, eyelashes and between his toes. He then proceeded to paint the interior of his room, including but not limited to the dresser, walls, carpeting and bedding.

Gifts Galore

As expected, the kid did not lack for gifts. Everyone made sure of that! We even had the extreme honour of accepting one of five ginormous hampers our community of Stony Mountain gathers for families each year. We could NOT believe how the generosity just keeps rolling in at us. Words can't express how grateful we are. A HUGE thank you to the Fire Department and entire community of Stony!!


And now a couple of shots of our quiet little morning.



This has been one of his top two favourite toys. It has great music when he pushes the forward button and barks when the backward button is pushed. And then it has the added feature of being able to be dragged around by the cord... anything that will follow him on a line is a BIG hit... case in point, his best friend the shoelace, which he's had for the last two months.


The absolute best gift is his red Mickey Mouse cell phone. It's a flip phone and he's figured out how to get Mickey to talk to him just so he can shout bye and snap it shut. And let's not forget the fabulous screeching, "I'm connecting to the internet thru dial-up" sound. (Whaa..?) We ALL love that button. He's crazy for the thing and is always intent on establishing just where everyone else's flip phone is before going about his conversations, just to be sure we're all as content as he is. I'm worried about his future priorities. I'd rather he knew where his horse was. The best feature for us is its portability. We can take it everywhere and have a some-what occupied toddler!


Hmmm... Am I already leaning on the tidy little tricks of a distracted, multi-tasking parent?

Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite.

Every night we have a routine that starts anywhere between 6 & 7 p.m., depending on his mood.

We change his bum, put on all his creams (eczema issues), snuggle into a sleeper, grab a soother from the shelf and tuck him into his big boy bed. We kiss him goodnight and walk out of the room, closing the door behind us. Then we settle in for 30 - 60 minutes of him laughing, talking, 'reading' his books in the dark, or to his totally Type A mother's absolute delight, re-arranging of the dresser drawer contents.

Since the arrival of the Browner, there's been a new distraction added to his room... his inflatable play fort from Grandpa, which previously resided in the living room. The result is this:

Yup, poor kid crashed right in the middle of a meeting with his stuffed animal friends. Must have been some BORING flow charts.