Tooth #4 is on the doorstep!

Now if only the sucker would come in! We've hardly noticed the arrival of the first 3, but this one is causing our poor little man some trouble.

Still, if that is the most dramatic issue to mark our days, we're thankful.

We've been busy bees, taking advantage of the amazing weather to get in some very late winterising. I think we're officially there. I've even dug out some of my old cans of paint to give the shop a face-lift. Feels really good to be productive.

I don't want to jinx us, but mention was made of possibly being home for christmas. Our cycle would have us waiting in hospital for reactions to his last round of chemo, but as his history thus far has been solid, they may allow us to recoup at home with extreme caution. I have mixed feelings about that. Of course, there will be no visiting family this year for any of us... I suppose it could be a very restful special experience. I'm also going through a reaction that I'm told many do - the abrupt absense of our safety net wants to worry at me. While I'd like to think we're level headed enough to handle things should anything happen, I know the truth. No adverse reactions yet have happened to truly test us. I've seen what can happen on the other children on the floor and the possibilities are beyond petrifying. Again, I will push that out of my mind. No sense borrowing what isn't here yet.

Circles Never Cease.

This heavy, insidious monster invades every nook of our lives. How can we celebrate our own victory when friends fall all around us?! Babies who have yet to taste life, young adults with bright roads ahead of them, older souls who have earned every right to a gentle twilight. It's this ugly constant barage of pain. Good people who deserve nothing but good things. How can anyone maintain hope and joy in life? Just when you finally pull yourself together and begin to feel lightness in your heart, there is another victim.

I used to be so afraid of THE NEWS. I didn't know how to approach those dealing with the demon, how to help, how not to pry at the freak show. Like anything else, once you're plunked into this world, you see it everywhere... except that I'm ashamed to admit I've always seen it everywhere. Unlike the spanking new car clones suddenly zipping past every few minutes, I have conscious memory of turning a blind eye again and again - within my own family as well as without. When I try to examine why, I cannot help but doubt my own answer of "intent to give space to deal". I now truly understand the need for this and am relieved that my secondary motivation was sound. Yet I know instinctively that it was always the second bird. The primary target for my stone was always the selfish protection of my own heart. I am cowed with my prior lack of courage on behalf of friends and family. I can only hope that yet another silver lining of our little cloud is that I will come through stronger for those who might need me.

Wilma we love you. Thank you for sharing your eclectic grace and beautiful light with us. Team Emms is stronger for knowing you.