No Fevers Yet

We kept getting told that they're imminent, but we wait. I hope we wait until we're blue in the face.

Another Date Night last night! (and I still managed to post some photos - you guys have PULL!) Patrick pulled out the stops, bbqing some awesome steaks and garden veggies from our poor, neglected plot. We dined by candlelight and I even had 2, count 'em... 2 bouquets!! Do I have The two best men or what?

They gave Kaleb some plateletes yesterday. He responded well, gaining a significant increase in the good stuff and sustaining no adverse reactions. They continue to watch all his counts every day.

And he continues to be a delightful Monster Child. Hosed EVERYTHING down 4 minutes after grandma & grandpa handed the day shift over to me, including his freshly bathed self, his mother, his bedding and his first of four sleepers of the day. Fantastic.

As I watch the sun's splendor fade into a black night, I am impressed that I can once again feel our good future sharing that horizon. It was devasting to be cut off from that part of my daily endorphine tap... so baren to not be able to look ahead, as though I was blind to the road in front of us. I'm so relieved to have answers and projections and something to base our probables on. It often feels like life could be spectacular again and I'm excited to reach the end of this challange.

We Had A New Friend Arrive Today!

Kaleb was ecstatic to get this gift from his Aunt in the mail! The box was almost as much fun as the toy, of course.

We changed his dressings yesterday and moved his lines up over his shoulders, rather than strapping them to his tummy. Boy was he happy to get moving in that crib again! The turkey can sure log some miles, rolling around as he does.

Always a ham for the camera!

Even when he's out...

Current Photos!

Over all, he's doing as well as they expect. We're waiting for the fevers to hit and crossing our fingers that they won't. His appetite has picked up, with the chemo ended. His blood counts are dropping, as they should and his little germ busters hit zero today. :(

what a handsome, well-behaved boy! (do you see the mischief in those eyes??)

he plays polite games of Peek-a-boo...

he dances like he means it....

and tears into his little mushroom man like a monster!!!!!

(I have NO idea where he gets this behaviour. It's not chocolate cake, after all.)

Some Old Photos to Hold You Guys Over...

I keep forgetting the camera at the hospital.

Some LONG-Overdue Thanks!

We've been reading and receiving so much from you all, just letting it roll over us in healing waves.

We've gained enough footing on this new adventure(*snort*) to make some call-outs, here.

To my cousin-in-law, Ashleigh - Sweetheart, with all that you're going through, your eloquent, supportive writting on here is a massive buoy for us. I always squirm with delight when I see that you've posted. We think of you and the girls often - always have. Oh, and you too, Mike. *wink* Hugs and kisses to all of you!!

ALL of your comments posted here bring us a wonderful form of connection to those who are so willing to reach out to us. We're always reading and re-reading them. During a time when location and circumstance distances us from friends and family, this really means a lot to us.

To those of you sharing your own courageous stories... thank you so much. Reliving old battles can certainly be difficult and your missions to give us strength and hope are accomplished!

To those of you who have and whose families have contributed to the financial support of Kaleb's care, thank you very much. The response on this front has been SO overwhelming. We've got enough to take care of a few month's bills, thanks to our banker's fancy fin-eggelling of our mortgage payments (she got them stalled for 4 months!). There's some reserve money left over from my personal maternity fund that we have yet to go through, and then we will glady lean on what you've all given us. We really appreciate the opportunity to postpone aquiring some chunky debt. The upside is that, living at the hospital doesn't leave much time for shopping!

To those of you offering your moral support with hospital visits, thank you! Hospitals certainly aren't the most fantastic places to be, personal schedules are always hectic and we really do appreciate the break in monotony. It's so nice to talk about something not including medical jargon and somber faces once in a while! The hope is that Kaleb can remain strong enough to receive the occasional visitor.

To those of you who've been inspired to donate some parts of yourselves to 'the cause', either with your blood, cord blood, or anything else, thank you so much. Every gesture helps and when I think of all the resources that go into helping Kaleb through this, I am ashamed of my prior lack of activity in these pursuits. I am determined to amp up my efforts at fundraisers and blood donations, myself, once this challenge is over.

To the local ladies with their fundraising efforts... HOLY SMOKES! These events are no small tasks to take on and organise. That you all are so tirelessly buzzing away on these projects in itself means so much to us. Whatever you do accomplish will be incredible successes!

To all of you adding us to your prayers, your community prayers and your healing good wishes and energies, thank you SO much! I had NO idea how far this would reach and how many people would so graciously open themselves up to us. When I think of how much support is reverberating from people's mouths, from their minds... it touches me like nothing else. There is such a force behind that.

And of course, there's my parents. They've been phenomenal not only in patiently waiting until we were ready for them to take up a piece of the load, but they were eager to do so the second we called, even riding to the rescue when my truck broke down. I'm sure they've seen quite enough of us this week! The tentative plan is for them to graciously sacrifice some precious sleep once a week so that we can have some time at home together. I can't communicate how special this is to us. We've found that nothing recharges our batteries like getting away from that sterile, "icky" environment together.

I know I'm missing some very deserving people at this first round, so please bear with my exhausted mind. Really, thank you everyone.

It Settles On The Shoulders Like a Prickly Wool Coat

He’s quite tired again, already. Still pink and happy, but tired. I’m thinking this is the lowering of his ‘counts’ they keep forewarning us of. That’s another one of these words that has taken on an entirely new meaning to us. We’re quickly becoming bilingual in the language that is our new normal. As much as it creeps and crawls under my skin when I use the lingo, I need to know it. Just as I need to accept the stench of hospital living permeating every article of clothing, every pore, every strand of hair. I scrub and launder as much as I can and still it lingers with the tenacity of a skunk's spray. It’s a smell I carry with me from my days healing from his birth. This time I know things are being handled better, but I don’t hesitate to use what I learned from my experience to fearlessly assert myself when needed. It’s interesting how quickly you shed your hesitation to offend someone when it’s your infant’s comfort at stake... or quite easily in this case, his life.

It’s going to be difficult to turn well-meaning visitors away when we are home. His little body just won’t be able to cope with ANY germs of ANY kind. Our house will have to be as 'clean' as the oncology ward.

The next 8 to 10 months look like this for us:

10 days of chemotherapy

4-6 weeks of in-hospital recovery

1 week at home

Back at it again.

After the chemo is given (today was the last day of his first round), his body goes through a process of cells dying and new ones regenerating. The blood transfusions assist in this, speeding things up and relieving his little body of some major work. During this recovery, he will be extremely susceptible to germs and infection. Unlike most other cancers on our ward, this treatment is so aggressive that it truly wipes his system clean of any immunity whatsoever. Fevers and infections are a life & death matter. If he does come down with anything they hit him hard with multiple antibiotics and hospitalisation for days. They do not give him chemo if he is already sick. This is the reason for the variant treatment time. It is also for this reason that we have to be insanely cautious with whom we and he comes into contact with for the next ten months.

On a lighter note, we’ve progressed to the point of looking ahead to one, five, even ten years from now. The weight of the road ahead never truly leaves us, but his positive response to treatment has finally kicked us forward into processing and trumping this temporary life phase. I can actually see a blue-eyed, brown curly-haired little cherub with that same stunner of a smile, toddling into all kinds of crap, driving me crazy. Giddy UP!