When we first arrived, I thought the children on the ward had unusually large heads, somehow warped by their treatments. Now that I’m up close, I can see that it’s just a sickly illusion. There’s a dull sheen to the scalp and a dusting of wispy remnants of old hair. All of his fresh, glossy, strong growth that so resembled my own colour is gone. And yet I don’t retain too much sadness over this observation.

In every other way, he is robust. Bursting with squirming, writhing energy, he’s offering us hours of endless entertainment. We’re constantly blown away by his many little marks of discovery. He has a new-found fascination with remote controls, of course. Crinkly papers and ribbons are particular joys, as are fresh-cut flowers in vases. He’s working on a fine little six-pack with numerous attempts to pull off his first solo sit-up. We’re going to have to raise the railing on his crib already. He’s accomplished actually moving the walker... in reverse, as he pushes off those strong little tippy-toes. And we’ve finally introduced solids to his menu! He’s quite excited about this, especially, and has almost mastered the art thanks to many minute meals of observing us. Get used to vacuuming your food up, new moms and moms-to-be. Culinary enjoyment is for the single.

We’re finally finding scraps of our former peaceful life. As I sat in my lawn chair, watching Patrick work with his horse in the arena, I just let it all flow back into my being. Feeling normal things like freshly harrowed sand sifting through my toes and rolling barrels across the sand as fast as I could were ultimate bliss.

We both rode our horses this weekend. To those of you who don’t understand the obsession, I could never aptly communicate their healing, grounding effect. To run your hands across their sleek, warm coat as their solid immoveable substance every-so-slightly returns the caress... To inhale their dusty wisdom through your nose and breathe it right down through the tips of your toes. They’re always ready with silent and stoic strength. They always know what it is you need. They’ll fly you away, through the wind that teases your ears and hair. To feel that power underneath you, so willing to leave whatever you want behind, or to carry you forward to wherever you need to go, or simply to will it into your own body, they are there. It’s an escape and re-emergence like no other.