Exquisite Times

A little update... not cause I was prodded with an electric stick, or anything... *cough*

The only reason I need any prodding, I'm happy to say, is because we're having so much fun that I don't want to miss a second by living outside of a single moment. And I'm running my damned feet off, I'm so busy.

I LOVE being this busy with work. I'm lucky enough to have some really great clients and for the most part, every day in my own business is a joy. I'm tweaking and primping my space, not only for an open house I'm hosting on the 1st of May, but just to make my space pop for myself. It has been a little tricky managing with recent construction in the yard, but the constant flux of mud and sand through our buildings has pushed us to finally address the functionality and aesthetics of our yards. I'm very excited to see everything finished. The looming deadline I've imposed on us will see the work done and the results ready to enjoy for the rest of the summer!

Oh, right... you guys are here for the cherub. Excuse the side-track... Our little man has passed another round of tests and scans with flying colours. He's been experiencing some fevers while coping with colds and the threat of mollars, which I understand can take a couple of years to wrap up. I can't help but feel my veins freeze every time he feels warm. It's such a massive crimson flag for leukemia, in general. We allow his body to do its thing, duking it out until we reach 100. Then we employ some artificial control in the form of baby ibuprofen and so far things have always calmed back down. Bitter sweet, is my expansive knowledge on how to dose per weight... and too, my relief at our impressive collection of medical plungers/droppers. I never trust the ones that come with the bottles. I'm glad to be confident in my handling of such things, but annoyed as to why I am.

Developmentally, our boy is sailing right along. He's stringing together three words and looking for more. His own language is still the go-to for story telling, of which he is a master and artiste. He puts his own boots on - either the mucky outside ones or the squeeky clean inside ones. He loves to pass you pillows as you make the bed, or climb under the covers as you parachute them up. He's very affectionate, with lots of hugs and kisses - especially to make a boo boo better. His sense of humour is fantastic. Puddles are the best thing EVER and I can't find it in me to stress about wet pants or booters. Changing into clean, dry clothes is part of the experience, after all. The potty continues to be a fun game - we even made it happen, once! It has also become a source of bedtime evasion, clever boy.

I hope he never ceases to be this yummy.

Birthday Boy

The big day was on the 10th, of course. We spent the day prior at the Steinbach Aquatic Centre. All I have to say is AMAZING! There was a whirl pool that carried you around a little circuit, there were water fountains, a bubbling shallow pool and even a water slide! AND the family change rooms are as large and accommodating as the regular change rooms!! Horray! Definitely worth the visit. The kid had a great time, too. In fact, we've been visiting a pool every week and I'm pretty sure it's his favourite thing to do.

Picture time:

On his birthday morning, hogging Mom's favourite slowly-wake-up spot...

And finally, some nice enough weather lately to play outside with his favourite buddies!

Essentially, not much has changed since 12:03 March 10, 2011. Oh, right... except for the raging demon that lay silently waiting within our precious child for that precise moment to launch itself full-force into every disagreement (...when did this become a democracy?), every hairy eyeball and every 5 minute tantrum. We have reached new heights with our efforts to maintain our line... I feel like a monstrous bully most of the time. Having a teammate on the same page gives me the reassurance that we're only pushing back as hard as he pushes us and that it is for his best interest. For the most part, he's still a polite and happy little dude. It's just that when his strong little opinion does differ from ours, the LID IS OFF.

I think I can hang in there... except, well damn, my knuckles are already white. What's it been... 2 DAYS?!

PoolSide

We had an awesome adventure yesterday. Cabin fever has set in at our house and we're all snapping at each other like sharks. So it was entirely fitting that we took it to the water.

Actually, we had SO much fun and it was just the break we needed to feel good again. The boy was unsure at first, but the ball was a good distraction and Mom & Dad were in the water. It wasn't long before he decided he wanted to join us.

And it took even less time for him to decide that this water thing was neat! Within minutes of being in my arms in the pool, he was exploring how the water moved over his feet and hands. He LOVED wearing the bright red life jacket and was a little sad when we took it off for a bit.

A couple of bouts of temper earned him some poolside talks and he was eager to jump back into the water on his best behaviour.

His favourite water toy was hands-down the little orange slide. "Again!" A close second was zooming on his tummy through the water (held in Mom's arms). And definitely we can't forget some righteous splashing at Dad by kicking his little legs for all he was worth.

We're hoping to go once a week.

Revelations Continue

I've said before how I was amazed that not until a year past our exit from crisis did I finally feel like I might begin to understand myself again.

Apparently, the same is true for my masculine half. This couples' holiday was marked with a great breakthrough in his healing process. He's spent this time marching forward, burrying what has happened and what could happen. All this time, even as I've been getting better (thanks to some outside perspective via my glorious brain mechanic) I've felt unnamed disconnect, no matter how well we seemed to function together. And all too often, we would experience moments when we couldn't be effective teammates, for no apparent reason. He finally admitted to himself and to me that he's been pretending, trying to 'fake it til you make it'. I suspect instead of employing the skills of a professional as I resorted to, he'll muddle through and iron this out very effectively on his own. The man is reflective, if he's anything, that's for sure.

Now for some light-hearted pics:

Heaven

There is something so yummy about hugging and snuggling a tiny person of your own self.

The instant joy and soaring heart hit before those tiny hands can even clamp around your neck, their own little version of a vice. It's better than a deep breath after a fresh rain, better than a warm fire on a crisp evening, better than chocolate cake with coconut sprinkles (for those who know me, this is something of a deal).

Sure, hugging loved ones has always been little slices of grounding wholesome goodness, but baby hugs are wholegrain wholesome. They show me the ground my roots were born in and which way they continue to grow. His chubby little arms, happy feet and busy hands... they touch something inside me I had no idea existed.

I've never deluded myself for a second that I would be one of those moms. You know the ones... they recreate motherhood from the womb - out, morphing it into an artform. Picasso Moms delight in bringing everything back from the begining of time and making it new, not to mention showcasing that prowess to the world with great zeal. And all the power to them. How could one not honour a good parent?

I consider motherhood a piece of myself, just as being a business owner is a piece of myself, just as being some kind of a horseback rider is a peice of myself. Kaleb ranks right up there with being as good a partner to the hubby as I can. Horse time rolls in with definite high ranking, if only I had more leisure to invest into it (boo hoo, poor me). I do take pride in muscling out a definitive outline in my entrepreneurial work, but am constantly daydreaming about improving things or even my next/other venture... insatiable career hog, but only if I can work to live. I will never live to work, never again be a slave to any job.

In these times of meagre wallets, we are enjoying a part-time daycare schedule. I'm ecstatic for every day of the week, equally. Jogging right beside my constant concern for meeting financial obligations, is my delight at being so present and involved during these first five years of our son's development. We know how fleeting it is. It's an interesting and stimulating state of emotional conflict. Days of child care afford us the freedom to run the household and days of having him home are full of adventure and manner-moulding.

I'm really enjoying this phase of our lives. I try to absorb everything through every pore. I want to remember it all and learn from it all. I will never be here again.